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LovelyXDEATH35's Journal


LovelyXDEATH35's Journal

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6 entries this month
 

missing you

23:32 Dec 23 2008
Times Read: 572


missing you like know other babe

but i really want you to enjoy your time with your family and i don't want to get in the way of that but i miss you alot and i love you soo much and all i am thinking about is you love ya


COMMENTS

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Jessyka
Jessyka
01:13 Jan 03 2009

I hope that whoever you missed so much. Missed you too.





 

parents

01:57 Dec 19 2008
Times Read: 579


okay so my parents want my life apparently and i guess that i am going to be ranting the teenage rant parents won't leave them alone but the parents only want whats best, but the kid is just too stupid to understand it, so they fight and when they are 30 they are like fuck i should have listened to my parents



yeah that me right now



its like with every word that comes out of their mouth enrages the demon inside me and sometimes i can't controll my anger yeah i think i need anger mangement but the thing is that it is only my parents that make me this angry teachers don't, kids at school don't, just my parents (well and the scum of the earth but thats another story that i don't have time to tell so or do i want to tell so...) i swear if i am alive for the next 3 years and i don't have a heart attack or stroke from compressing this anger then i will never ever come back this family is fucked up, damn rich people do have to much shit.... i shouldn't say that we aren't rich we are middle class maybe a bit better, but it just pisses me off how my parents use their money on stupid shit instead of donating and stuff my dads makes enough money to support some families and still support us, yeah he won't be able to have the nice car he wants but it doesn't matter, my mom is better with money she doesn't have any she is flat broke ( another thing that pisses me off about my dad he doesn't buy my mom anything or give her any money and i am a straight up mamas girl for reason i do not wish to share) yeah but my mom gives money to ethopian families so they have food on the table and stuff and she is really caring, but she is a shopaholic only problem but my point with this is my parents don't know how to spend their money on useful things and they preach this shit to me but they don't even know what to do my dad did right he got a really good job and shit but he can't spend money for nothing he doesn't even care about us it seems... anyway he won't let me be who i want to be its hard enough masking who i am on a daily basis but he wants me to be an executive producer for televison programs and work as an engineer and that is not me, i am the opposite i want to be a writer and aritist a musician maybe even a chef... but he won't let me and he seriously won't let me its fucking pissing me off anyway you probably stopped reading knowing that this was a stupid teenage rant so i wouldn't expect you to get done this far or even care i just need to get rid of all this anger inside of me and since i have no one to talk to at home here is the only place


COMMENTS

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Morrigon
Morrigon
02:43 Dec 19 2008

It's tough, sometimes you have to grit your teeth and go with it until you're of age and can get away.



Even though your parents are irritating, they do support your living, so when you go out on your own it will be tough - but worth it.



Just remember to not only think about what would be fun to do with your life, but work towards it. Just telling your parents you want to be something is one thing, but working towards it and showing them that you're dedicated is another.





 

this is what i feel (thanks Beyonce lol )

00:06 Dec 18 2008
Times Read: 583


Remember those walls I built

Well baby they're tumbling down

And they didn't even put up a fight

They didn't even make a sound

I found a way to let you in

But I never really had a doubt

Standing in the light of your halo

I got my angel now



It's like I've been awakened

Every rule I had you breakin'

It's the risk that I'm takin'

I ain't never gonna shut you out



Everywhere I'm looking now

I'm surrounded by your embrace

Baby I can see your halo

You know you're my saving grace

You're everything I need and more

It's written all over your face

Baby I can feel your halo

Pray it won't fade away



I can feel your halo (halo) halo

I can see your halo (halo) halo

I can feel your halo (halo) halo

I can see your halo (halo) halo

Woah...



Hit me like a ray of sun

Burning through my darkest night

You're the only one that I want

Think I'm addicted to your light

I swore I'd never fall again

But this don't even feel like falling

Gravity can't forget

To pull me to the ground again



Feels like I've been awakened

Every rule I had you breakin'

The risk that I'm takin'

I'm never gonna shut you out



Everywhere I'm looking now

I'm surrounded by your embrace

Baby I can see your halo

You know you're my saving grace

You're everything I need and more

It's written all over your face

Baby I can feel your halo

Pray it won't fade away



I can feel your halo (halo) halo

I can see your halo (halo) halo

I can feel your halo (halo) halo

I can see your halo (halo) halo

I can feel your halo (halo) halo

I can see your halo (halo)

Halooooo ouuuu

Halooooo ouuuu

Halooooo ouuuu

Ouuuuu ouuuuu ouuuuu



Everywhere I'm looking now

I'm surrounded by your embrace

Baby I can see your halo

You know you're my saving grace

You're everything I need and more

It's written all over your face

Baby I can feel your halo

Pray it won't fade away



I can feel your halo (halo) halo

I can see your halo (halo) halo

I can feel your halo (halo) halo

I can see your halo (halo) halo

I can feel your halo (halo) halo

I can see your halo (halo) halo

I can feel your halo (halo) halo

I can see your halo (halo) halo


COMMENTS

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Monroe

23:02 Dec 16 2008
Times Read: 589


So... i am going to Monroe next year, its a place where you can get a licenses in a profession they give you an opportunity to start a life in that career and all that good stuff, problem is i don't know what do to >.< its frusterating me i want to do maybe culinary arts i have always loved to cook and learning the techniques and everything could be cool its just is that something that i can excell at and work for the only problem is i well have to drop my language ASL i love sign language its my passion i will try to take it in the summer so i can get all 3 of my class and stuff but ugh its frusterating having to face a future and i have no fucking clue what i want to do and my dad isn't helping getting me all this shit so he doesn't have to pay for me to go to college so i can become an excutive at a media program that not what i want to do thats not me i am artsy, i like to express myself, unfortunately drawing i can draw decent but i am not amazing not amazing enough to have that career oh well fuck my life it will come to me


COMMENTS

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Iname
Iname
01:41 Dec 17 2008

ill meet you there





LovelyXDEATH35
LovelyXDEATH35
00:07 Dec 18 2008

yeah but what do i do there??





 

surburbs blues

00:35 Dec 16 2008
Times Read: 597


as i walk down this empty street

the houses in my side vision

they begin to run together

everything on the outside

so perfect every house

perfectly aligned

every house perfectly decorated

with happy garnishes

it almost seems like they

are putting up a cover to hide truth

to hide what really lies within every house

the lies, dirty little secrets, revenge

if you were to ride down this street

and turn a blind eye

you wouldn't notice

how dark and deserted

everyhouse is

the feel of this street

whispers wrong

houses pitch black

empty and frail

the chimes on the door

are being played

playing the song

only the wind can make

that same eery tone

heard in all movies



i can hear the children

pleading their parents

to stop hitting them,

i can hear the wife geting

beat,

feel the man in the house

next to me having an

affair, i can hear a young

girl in the house infront of

me sobbing over the

little plus sign

the teenage boy

arguing with himself

on where to hide

his secret white powder



the problem with most people

is they think that finding

a nice little house

in a row of other perfect

little houses is paridise

but think again lmao


COMMENTS

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Iname
Iname
01:41 Dec 17 2008

absolutely love it





 

ahh fuck

22:55 Dec 14 2008
Times Read: 600


okay so i am getting older and the need to go to college and get a job HAVE A LIFE is coming up way to fast... i don't know what i want to do i don't think i will get into a college that i want to go to... i am too lazy to get good grades and to "study" and but i need a plan at least so i can leave my parents i don't want to live with them my whole life, i fucking can't live with them now so how will it be when i am like 25 i think i might kill them or me having to live with them, but i just can't decide i am not good at anything i can't do anything, and noting in the world seems good to me, being an artist is so iffy and i am not good at it so i will not be able to make enough money to support my self, criminal investagation seems cool but i don't know what class i need to take what i should be doing to get a career there oh well i hope it comes to me


COMMENTS

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cadrewolf
cadrewolf
00:40 Dec 16 2008

Destination in life has many paths and you will find what you seek, look forward and not behind and all will come to be..








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